Change is good.

Well. It's July. And that means I am now the full-time Coordinator. Hells yes. This means that I: a) actually get paid for what I do, b) actually have time to do what I need to do, and c) don't have to be a damn grad student anymore. It's quite exciting.

What I have found rather difficult (already) is the lack of things to do. I suppose it's not the lack of "things to do" in general, but I existed in this sort of Wonder Woman mode for several years. There was always a book I should be reading, an assignment I should be working on, or some project for work that would never get done in my alotted 20 hours a week. If I was "relaxing" on a weekend, it meant sitting on the couch thinking about all of the things I should be doing. Really, everything was motivated by procrastination, and my entire existence fell under some level of procrastinating. But now, I honestly have no reason to procrastinate. This presented some difficulty for me yesterday, as Megan left around noon-ish and I realized I had the entire day left to my own devices. This was rather scary. Until I realized that I should clean my apartment and finish unpacking my books that have been in boxes since January* and TA-DA! I had a reason to procrastinate again! So I knitted. And watched old Hitchcock movies. (P.S. His early films, especially the ones that come in $5 multi-packs, are not that good. Except for 39 Steps. That one is brilliant, and made my $5 worth it.) I am now out of Hitchcock movies. Whatever will I do with myself?

Hell apparently experienced at least a drop in temperature. I met Megan's parents on Friday. This was fairly unexpected, but we had a month to be anxious about it. I had decided at some point early in our relationship that I would never meet her parents, and just chose to deal with that. They aren't so keen on the fact that I'm not a boy (and that their daughter doesn't really like boys all that much). However, at some point, they apparently decided to at least try and meet me. I think that it went rather well. Of course, how could anyone REALLY hate me, queer or not? I'm quite adorable and fantastic.

Of course, knowing we'd be in Grand Rapids, Megan scheduled a tattoo appointment for herself with her artist of choice. So, after the awkwardness, there was ink. And, because my fiance is amazing and knows what it takes to give me a kick in the ass on something I should do, I got one too. My first ink! Can you believe it? I've always felt rather naked and always wanted ink, but one thing or another prevented it. Once my mom rescinded her "I'll cut you off" promise, there wasn't much holding me back-- other than the knowledge that I would be that person that would get one, and immediately plan for 10 more in the next year...

But I did it anyway. So, as I have planned for a number of years, I finally got my "coming out" tattoo. "Tribas" is the Ancient Greek word for "lesbian." It might be the best word in the whole world because it comes from the verb "tribeo" which means "to rub." So, "tribas" quite literally means "she who rubs" or "female rubber." Fun, huh? And, well, the word is just pretty.

It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Although with my wrist stretched back, as he did that "B" right on my tendon I started to get a little light-headed. He had to stop and get me some water, but I recovered quickly and was already thinking about what I wanted next. You can thank Megan for convincing me to just do it. I have anyway.

But yes... change. Lots of it. And all of it good.

Awwwww! Thanks Obama!

THE WHITE HOUSE
Office of the Press Secretary

___________________________________________________________
For Immediate Release June 1, 2009

LESBIAN, GAY, BISEXUAL, AND TRANSGENDER PRIDE MONTH, 2009
- - - - - - -
BY THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
A PROCLAMATION

Forty years ago, patrons and supporters of the Stonewall Inn in New York City resisted police harassment that had become all too common for members of the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) community. Out of this resistance, the LGBT rights movement in America was born. During LGBT Pride Month, we commemorate the events of June 1969 and commit to achieving equal justice under law for LGBT Americans.

LGBT Americans have made, and continue to make, great and lasting contributions that continue to strengthen the fabric of American society. There are many well-respected LGBT leaders in all professional fields, including the arts and business communities. LGBT Americans also mobilized the Nation to respond to the domestic HIV/AIDS epidemic and have played a vital role in broadening this country's response to the HIV pandemic.

Due in no small part to the determination and dedication of the LGBT rights movement, more LGBT Americans are living their lives openly today than ever before. I am proud to be the first President to appoint openly LGBT candidates to Senate-confirmed positions in the first 100 days of an Administration. These individuals embody the best qualities we seek in public servants, and across my Administration -- in both the White House and the Federal agencies -- openly LGBT employees are doing their jobs with distinction and professionalism.

The LGBT rights movement has achieved great progress, but there is more work to be done. LGBT youth should feel safe to learn without the fear of harassment, and LGBT families and seniors should be allowed to live their lives with dignity and respect.

My Administration has partnered with the LGBT community to advance a wide range of initiatives. At the international level, I have joined efforts at the United Nations to decriminalize homosexuality around the world. Here at home, I continue to support measures to bring the full spectrum of equal rights to LGBT Americans. These measures include enhancing hate crimes laws, supporting civil unions and Federal rights for LGBT couples, outlawing discrimination in the workplace, ensuring adoption rights, and ending the existing "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy in a way that strengthens our Armed Forces and our national security. We must also commit ourselves to fighting the HIV/AIDS epidemic by both reducing the number of HIV infections and providing care and support services to people living with HIV/AIDS across the United States.

These issues affect not only the LGBT community, but also our entire Nation. As long as the promise of equality for all remains unfulfilled, all Americans are affected. If we can work together to advance the principles upon which our Nation was founded, every American will benefit. During LGBT Pride Month, I call upon the LGBT community, the Congress, and the American people to work together to promote equal rights for all, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity.

NOW, THEREFORE, I, BARACK OBAMA, President of the United States of America, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the Constitution and laws of the United States, do hereby proclaim June 2009 as Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Pride Month. I call upon the people of the United States to turn back discrimination and prejudice everywhere it exists.

IN WITNESS WHEREOF, I have hereunto set my hand this first day of June, in the year of our Lord two thousand nine, and of the Independence of the United States of America the two hundred and thirty-third.

BARACK OBAMA

Memorial Day & Margaritas

As concerned as Megan gets from time to time about me hating Traverse City and resenting her for moving up here next year, I've grown rather fond of the Northern woods & lakes that surround the city. While we've taken advantage of the trails and woods before, this weekend has been full o' nature!

I managed to take Saturday off so I could actually get a weekend off for once. I needed it, especially considering this crazy schedule continues for another month. My friend Alex's boyfriend's family has some property on a lake near Traverse City, and we headed over to join them for a little puppy fest. 2 labs, one lab mix, and Holden on a lake made for lots of entertainment and one very tired puppers. The lake is about the size of the one that my grandparents live on in Minnesota. It was nice, hanging out outside, drinking, chillin', watching the dogs play in the water. Holden isn't too keen on swimming yet, but he's getting there. After he'd gotten comfortable enough to wade in the water frequently, we got him to come out on the deck and pushed him off. He figured out that he could swim, so hopefully he wasn't too traumatized. I think a couple more weekends at the lake and he'll soon be taking full advantage of his webbed-like-a-duck-paws. We had a blast and Brandon's family is a lot of fun. It was a bit closer than I'd anticipated, and definitely not too bad of a drive, so we'll probably head over there more in the future.

Sunday was a chill day, as both of us were a bit tired and achey after the day at the lake. We did a little shopping (where I nabbed a tankini top for $5 on clearance- SCORE!) and went to see Star Trek. It was actually really good. I was impressed! The casting was BRILLIANT, especially Simon Pegg as Scotty. We were a tad disheartened by the theater full of people that apparently didn't think the movie was as funny as we did. It was very sad. The movie was hilarious with lots of shout-outs to the original Star Trek. Apparently nobody else was as amused as we were, so we were those people sitting in the back laughing our asses off.

After not sleeping well because we had fought over the blankets all night, we decided to give in and get our king size comforter & duvet cover. It was necessary. We should have done it months ago. We both were so well-rested this morning that the purchase was absolutely worth it. I guess that makes us official now. HA! Forget the rings, the engagement, the wedding plans, the dog we got together, all of that...we've taken the plunge and purchased an oversized comforter to accommodate both of us.

Today has been pretty chill, also. We'd picked up fixin's for margaritas Saturday night, and started in on them in the early afternoon. It wouldn't be Memorial Day for me if I didn't get a little tipsy. We took Holden for a walk in the woods on the trails behind Megan's condo. Beautiful paths, with nice thick woods-- the kind you know have been there forever, rather than the kind we have in parts of Iowa, where you know they were once cut down and then re-planted. Absolutely beautiful. I love northern woods. Much of my entertainment in the last couple days has been in the form of Caterpillar-massacre. There are these odd little caterpillars that are taking over one kind of tree in the woods behind Megan's house. They make these weird web things, and have been breeding in mass quantities. We watched the web-nests grow as the weather warmed up, and then the caterpillars start leaving their cocoon-things and started lining up and launching systematic attacks on Megan's back porch. Soap & water in a spray bottle is apparently enough to kill them, which is nice. It also means I get to go outside with a spray bottle full of soap & water and go all Terminator on them. They are kind of like zombies though...some take more soap & water to kill than others...and as soon as you've killed the first 50 that showed up, another 50 are following. So, I'm just making sure I smoke more...and go out to smoke with a squirt bottle full. I had to run to Walgreen's at some point today and it took just about everything I had to not buy a squirt gun. I decided against it as Megan's already been a tad creeped out by how obsessed I've gotten with obliterating them.

If any of you have questioned at any point why Megan's perfect for me, let me relay this exchange from earlier today:
Megan: Hey babe, wanna go outside and smoke and shoot things?
Me: HELL YES!

I so love her...

FREEDOM!!!

So I've been without internet at home for a few weeks now. Partially because AT&T is annoying me and I almost don't want to pay them anything ever, and partially because I don't have all that much money at the moment, thus am limited in what I can actually pay them. Regardless, I've been without internet...and I almost don't miss it.

I have internet at work. I have internet on my phone (sometimes in a limited sort of way, but it's still there...). There's internet just about everywhere I go. There's internet at Megan's. There's internet on campus. There's internet at my friend Alex's. Give my crazy summer schedule, I'm only actually at home Thursday night, Friday night, and Saturday morning. So it's not like I'm completely cut off...instead I feel...well...almost free.

There's little or no ability for me to check my work email 17 times a night. I can't have AIM on and going all the time, so nobody is randomly chatting with me. I can't spend hours looking at archives of new websites I've recently come across. I don't stalk people on facebook. I don't play online games. It really hasn't bothered me that much. I've gotten a lot of actual book reading done. I've also found "quiet time" for the first time in about...well...it feels like forever. It's sort of amazing.

It hasn't been without its frustrations. After all, when one is in a long-distance relationship, texting isn't always the best method of communication, but then again, with our contrasting schedules (especially during the week), we rarely chat online anyway. Sometimes it is a bit irritating to have to go in to work to find out what's ahead of me for the day (ie. check my email), but if it's dire I can always go through the basic interface on my phone.

Am I ready to go completely internet-less? Notsomuch...unless IMDB launches a mobile version.* However, this has got me thinking about how much we rely on something so, well, frivolous in a lot of ways. Many people have said they wouldn't be able to handle it. They would lose all social contact with the world. Others say they'd be bored out of their minds. I haven't actually hit "boredom" yet. In fact, I found myself getting bored far more often when I actually had the internet. How many times have I claimed to reach the end of the interwebs and get frustrated waiting for everything to update for me? *laughing*

Let's be honest...with my phone, am I ever actually "internet-less"? And with work? And friends? And public libraries? And coffee shops? And campus? I mean, seriously... I'm sort of in awe of how necessary something like that has gotten. I think my cell phone is the same way. Not having my cell phone would seriously be one of the worst possible things I could imagine happening to me. How sad is that? But isn't that more about freedom? The cell phone allows me to not have to be at home or in my office. It allows me to travel without worrying I'll be stranded. It allows me to check my email when I'm nowhere near a computer. It allows me to keep in contact with my fiance. It allows me to keep in contact with everyone else in my life. But isn't that the point of the internet at home? Does it now allow me a large amount of "freedom" in some capacity?

Funny how those things that provide "freedom" also become their own little prisons... not to go all Holden Caufield... but seriously. When I go up to Traverse City to stay with Megan for a few days, I often turn my phone ringer off so I don't have to deal with whatever it is that someone things I need to deal with.

Huh. Maybe it's less about the "things" and the technology itself and more about the people I allow in to my life via those methods... Hmmm... Oh bah. I gotta stop. The last thing I need is another mini-existential crisis. *laughing*

I'm going to stop thinking now...

What have I been doing? Watching bad movies of course...

I haven't updated in awhile, and honestly? There's not much to report. Megan and I are in newly engaged bliss and trying to scrape up the money to put a deposit on a venue for our wedding. The semester ended, which means that I wrote lots of papers on crap I didn't care about and did presentations on crap I care even less about. I'm clearly enamored with this graduate program...or not.

Anyway...I figure the best update is one that shares some of the joy and pain of some of the movies I've been watching lately.

Zombie Honeymoon (2004)
This one was actually an engagement gift from a friend of mine. While I hope that friend didn't pay that much for it, it was definitely amusing. Can a zombie movie be a sort of romantic comedy? Yes, yes it can... Although I think more of the "comedy" was not necessarily intended...but whatever.

Dead & Breakfast (2004)
I kept seeing previews for this prior to various movies I've gotten from Netflix lately. The cast looked amusing (David Carradine & Jeffrey Dean Morgan a.k.a. "Denny" from Grey's) and I figured it couldn't be that bad. I was surprised, however. Not because it was that bad, but because it was THAT GOOD. Seriously. it's up with Shaun of the Dead for me. Not quite "zombies"? But soul-less creatures, intent on feeding on humans in some way shape or form... It was actually very enjoyable. Especially with the "minstrel" pulling the whole thing together more like a musical. Probably going to have to own this one...

Savage Weekend (1979)
This one came out of my 100-pack of Horror Classics. It was the 8th movie I put in that night and actually held my attention for more than 10 minutes. Most of this was due to the casting of William Sanderson (a.k.a. "Larry" with two brothers named Daryl on Newhart). Mildly amusing, this kept my slightly inebriated ass amused for a bit...mostly thanks to the high level of 70's female nudity...

My Name Is Bruce (2007)
Hmmm...a Bruce Campbell movie about Bruce Campbell being abducted by a small town to save them from a demon? SIGN ME UP! This one was actually pretty good, but your appreciation for Bruce has to be pretty high to get you through it. It's absurd. You don't watch it because you think it will be "good" per se... you watch it because it's Bruce. Honestly? It was far better than I expected it to be. I think my favorite part though is actually on the documentary about the making of the film. We find out that the set for the film was actually Bruce's back yard, and that the budget really was lower than I would have expected. Part of the interview with him is conducted in his kitchen, while he puts dishes in the dishwasher and his cat sits on the counter. Definitely a must-see for Bruce Campbell fans.

Scream Blacula Scream (1973)
Pam Grier. 1973. Blaxploitation. Need I say more?
Someone actually calls someone else a "jive turkey." LOVE. IT.

Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things (1972)
Some jackass put this on a list of "must see zombie movies." So I saw it. Through the first hour, I wished I hadn't...then the last 20 minutes came. Seriously, get this movie, fast forward through all the bullshit, and watch the brilliantly done zombie rising scene towards the end. Possibly one of the best zombie-rising/attack scenes I've seen that hasn't been done by Romero.

Otto; or, Up With Dead People (2008)
Gay zombies? Really? What does that even MEAN?!?!? Someone called it "original and inventive." I call it "crap." I made it through the guy who made his boyfriend a zombie and then fucked his abdomen wound. I made it through all the weird going-ons with the main character Otto. And, yes, I got that he's not really a zombie but just a poor little gay boy that got his heart broken and now feels like one. It was still shit. Don't waste your time.

The Dead Next Door (1989)
This one was also on a "must see" list by someone that considers themselves a zombie fan. It wasn't the worst film I've seen. Nor was it the best. It was actually enjoyable, however. Full of lots of shout-outs to the greats (like naming characters "Raimi" and "Savini" it's definitely an homage to the genre. It amused me.

The Wrestler (2008)
Dear Darren Aronofsky,

Just fucking quit.
Please.
You are no longer "indie."
You have lost whatever awesomeness you might have had with "Pi" & "Requiem".

Sincerely, Sarah

Never thought I'd be a diamond girl...

When Megan and I started talking about the possibility of an engagement, she asked me what I wanted. I honestly had no idea. I hadn't considered it. I knew what I thought was pretty. I just had no idea what I would think was pretty on my hand. HA! So, I started spending my weekends looking on ebay, thinking eventually I'd find something I liked, or at least get a good idea. I wasn't sure really, until... I found this ring. While one should always be cautious buying fine jewelry on Ebay, this was a charity auction and had a very reasonable price, so I couldn't really lose. It was a size 6 1/2, which I am not, but how hard could it be to get something sized? After a discouraging trip to a place I thought would be a good idea, we needed another plan.

Nord's Jewelers in Kalamazoo was fantastic. They even brought out their "custom guy" and we looked at options on resizing (ie. reshanking) and taking off the wedding band, leaving me with just an engagement ring. They also, by the way, didn't miss a beat when it was revealed that it was a lesbian engagement. (YAY!) So, after a couple weeks, and a phone call Megan made to pay for it, my ring was done...and more beautiful than I thought it would be! (Cleaning clearly made a difference...) I'm very happy. Never would've pictured myself with a diamond? But I fell in love with this ring. You've gotta admit-- it's art-deco-fantastic!!!

Wow... I'm getting married. WOOHOO!

She said yes.

Early last Fall you would have found me looking for cheap wedding dresses for a Halloween costume because that was the most terrifying and absurd costume I could imagine for myself. My, how the perfect woman changes everything...

After talking about it for months, and having rings in my possession for months...
After plotting with her best friend as to how it would all take place...
After fussing about when and where and how...
After it became more than just a question of a commitment ceremony, but a legally recognized union in my home state...
After all of that... I proposed... and completely on a whim...

It's a fairly amusing story though...and illustrates our entire relationship in an interesting way. Chilling on my couch after a long week of doing what we do, having just watched the new episode of Dollhouse and chatting about how much we love Joss Whedon, we began planning our weekend of zombie film consumption. (Sunday is Zombie Day. You might call it Easter. He rose from the dead. Technically, a zombie.) Giddy and happy in our normalcy and looking at the woman on my couch that is requesting that we include Evil Dead in our zombie marathon...this woman who went to a punk show with me Thursday night even though she was dead tired...this woman who I put in the most random (and sometimes bizarre) social situations and every time she handles them perfectly...and I said "I want to propose to you right now." Usually, she says "No no. You don't have your ring yet. Not til you have your ring." This time, she didn't. So, I got up and walked over to the "hiding spot" that her ring has been sitting in for months, thinking she'd stop me. She never did. Really, I think we were calling each other's bluffs...I figured she'd stop me at some point, and she figured I'd chicken out at some point. But no... I walked back to the couch, box in hand, knelt down between the couch and the coffee table, said a bunch of mushy stuff, and popped the question. She said yes. And then she jumped up and down. And squealed. And jumped some more. And squealed some more.

I've considered us "engaged" for awhile now. Hell, we've been talking about it for awhile now. I didn't think it would actually feel different once it was actually done. But it really does. In a good way :-) It's exciting. My ring will actually be done later this week. I'll post pics...when we have both rings. :-)

I asked.
She said yes.
She's wearing her ring.
Mine will be done by the end of the week.
:-)

Weekend of zombie film consumption in celebration of engagement and Zombie Jesus begins now...